April 1
Have an invariable tendency to introduce yourself and others in the voice and style of a professional wrestling announcer (e.g. ‘from parts unknown, at 155 pounds…’)
or
have your legal name changed to ‘pumpy’
Announcer voice FTW
April 2
Urinate crazy string
or
lactate grits?
Another gross thing.. no comment
April 3/4
Have eyelashes that grow at the rate or one inch per minute
or
have hot fudge perpetually dripping from your nostrils?
HOT FUDGE!
April 5
Have your cell phone ring function set on a tale of a tragic irish upbringing
or
awful ronald reagan impression?
Tale of Tragic Irish Upbringing, I guess.
April 6
Speak in the style, accen, and intensity of Hitler whenever talking to members of the opposite sex
or
Have to take all your meals in a hockey net?
Hockey net. Hitler is not fun.
April 7
Have crayolas for teeth
or
snails for ears?
Crayolas. Anything that can help with scrapbooking is good 😉