October 21
Be buried in a high school gymnasium after you die
be cremated and have your ashes sprinkled over ted koppel?


October 22
Be able to use only one piece of tissue/napkin your whole life
Imbibe all liquids through a fallopian tube?

One napkin.

October 23/24
Have mayonnaise tears
kool-aid sweat?

kool aid sweat

October 25
Drink an entire bottle of vinegar
read the bible cover to cover

Read the bible cover to cover

October 26
have naturally water-repellant hair
nipples that pop up when food is done in the oven?

Seriously with the nipple obsession in this calendar… I’d go with water repellent (it is spelled repellant in the calendar but i think that is wrong?) hair.

October 27
Eat 14 full sticks of butter
The contents of michael jackson’s face

14 sticks of butter.

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