December 2
Wear a cologne named mulch
or
named pungent hippy?
Mulch
December 3
Spend your honeymoon in a slaughterhouse
or
at your folks’ house
Folks.
December 4/5
Be tenderized to death with small, wooden mallet
or
consume kleenex until you die?
Consume kleenex
December 6
Would you fight to the death 300 remote control cars
or
20 sentient red rubber playground balls?
Playground balls
December 7
Be stuck on a desert island with your significant other and an ipod filled with barry white’s most sultry tunes
or
your significant other and a complete set of magic: the gathering cards?
Barry White
December 8
Watch a man get hit by a speeding truck
or
your parents making love?
man get hit by a truck