Wear a cologne named mulch
named pungent hippy?
Spend your honeymoon in a slaughterhouse
at your folks’ house
Be tenderized to death with small, wooden mallet
consume kleenex until you die?
Would you fight to the death 300 remote control cars
20 sentient red rubber playground balls?
Be stuck on a desert island with your significant other and an ipod filled with barry white’s most sultry tunes
your significant other and a complete set of magic: the gathering cards?
Watch a man get hit by a speeding truck
your parents making love?
man get hit by a truck