December 9
Kick your aunt in the stomach
drop 200 turtles off a 40-story building

Drop turtles.

December 10
Be NBA commissioner and institute a two-second shot clock
a three-feet-tall maximum height rule?

shot clock

December 11/12
Grow up in the wild
in a burger king?

Burger King

December 13
Live in a world where all international disputes were settled by means of break dancing contests
kick ball games

Break dancing contests

December 14
Spend your honeymoon in a home depot
a bowling alley?

bowling alley

December 15
Marry a bipolar tour guide
autistic foot locker salesperson?

tour guide.

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