June 17
Be flayed and de-boned like a fish
pureed in a giant blender?


June 18
Marry and bear the child of (insert coworker or schoolmate)
have to bathe and powder (insert common friend) every day, twice a day?

Bathe and powder a friend.

June 19/20
Chain-smoke 100 cigarettes nasally
tongue clean 10 blocks worth of new york city public phone mouthpieces?


June 21
Have complete control over who gets elected to all government offices
Who wins all sporting championships?

Sporting championships!!

June 22
Live in a world where there is no such thing as war, but also no such thing as pork
where there is no such thing as crime, but also no such thing as CSI?

I would go for either of these – pork and CSI I can definitely live without.

June 23
Shave your left eyeball with a gillette sensor razor
pour a gallon of boiling water down your throat?

Boiling water.

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