Thursday March 4
Have permanent cheetos residue on your fingers
or
Appear as Shemp of the three stooges in all photographs?
Clearly, appear as Shemp. I did sweep the Three Stooges category on Jeopardy a couple months back!
Friday March 5
Have no nipples
or
11 nipples?
I’m going to go with none. Because 11 seems excessive.
Saturday/Sunday March 6/7
Have hair gums
or
Ants crawling in your armpits?
I hate all things bugs so hairy gums it is. Just another reason to get more work done in my mouth I guess.
Monday March 8
Have a permanent “Got Milk” Moustache
or
Have small holes in your cheeks that allow fluids to leak through like a strainer?
I do a good enough job of dripping fluids on myself all by myself (I have a drinking problem) so I am going to go with the Milk Moustache.
Tuesday March 9
Have a reverse digestive tract
or
condult all written work in the voice of snoop doggy dogg?
SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOP!
Wednesday March 10
Never be allowed to use shampoo
or
use profanity.
Never be allowed to use profanity. Pretty sure I could live my life without it. Not so sure I could live my life without shampoo!