Thursday March 4
Have permanent cheetos residue on your fingers
Appear as Shemp of the three stooges in all photographs?

Clearly, appear as Shemp. I did sweep the Three Stooges category on Jeopardy a couple months back!

Friday March 5
Have no nipples
11 nipples?

I’m going to go with none. Because 11 seems excessive.

Saturday/Sunday March 6/7
Have hair gums
Ants crawling in your armpits?

I hate all things bugs so hairy gums it is. Just another reason to get more work done in my mouth I guess.

Monday March 8
Have a permanent “Got Milk” Moustache
Have small holes in your cheeks that allow fluids to leak through like a strainer?

I do a good enough job of dripping fluids on myself all by myself (I have a drinking problem) so I am going to go with the Milk Moustache.

Tuesday March 9
Have a reverse digestive tract
condult all written work in the voice of snoop doggy dogg?


Wednesday March 10
Never be allowed to use shampoo
use profanity.

Never be allowed to use profanity. Pretty sure I could live my life without it. Not so sure I could live my life without shampoo!

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