Have confederate flag irises
Velcro body hair?
Velcro body hair, I think that could come in handy. Maybe. I don’t know. lol
Have skin 15 times bigger than it needs to be
have skin half as big as it needs to be?
I’m going to go with 15 times bigger because I think smaller would be painful.
Be able to make change for a dollar by putting it in your mouth
be able to make amish people break-dance?
Definitely make change. Although that would be gross, it would probably be helpful at times.
Be 50 pounds heavier and look it
300 pounds heavier, but look the same as you do now?
Uhh 300 lbs but look the same.
Have all your shirts made of bologna
Have hair that changes color and falls out in the fall?
I love bologna, so I am going to go with shirts of bologna. Hopefully I don’t get hungry and eat all my clothes though.
Have living eyebrows that crawl about your face
leave a trail of paprika wherever you go?
Trail of Paprika!