Have running water replaced with brine
have your sink, blender and toilet as one appliance?
Read Hamlet. Hate needles.
Have to wear clothing 5 sizes too small
have to wear articles of clothing on a different part of the body than they were intended?
Different part of the body. I dont even think I could move in clothes 5 sizes too small lol
Take all your showers naked in a storefront window for a month
smoke a thousand cigarettes successively?
Icky.. I think I’ll go with the cigarettes, though I think that might end up killing me…
Have just given the greatest speech of your life, only to realize that your zipper was down the whole time
just confessed your live for someone over the phone, only to find out that on the other line wasn’t your beloved but rather past president george w. bush?
Definitely the speech. I’d think I’d have been behind a stand so no one would have noticed. And I don’t really ever want to talk to Dubya. So yeah.
Saw through your thumbs with a hack saw
Slice off your nipples with a deli meat slicer?
Thumbs. Ouch.. but I think the other option would be more painful.