A Guy’s Guide to Relationships: Growing Your Relationship through Language and Action is written by a guy for guys, but it is also for anyone who might be looking for help in making sure their relationships succeed. While this book mainly focuses on romantic relationships and focuses a lot of the author and his wife, I think that the tips and ideas presented throughout this book can work for any sort of relationship – friendship, professional, romantic, etc. The book is split into 2 parts – Language and Action. In Part I the author goes over the “Five As”: Affirmation, Admiration, Appreciation, Affection & Attraction. The second part focuses a lot on Expectations, Actions, Toxic Traits. It ends with ways to find Growth in your relationship.
This book was interesting to me because it kind of helped me get a guys perspective on things. Their brains can work a little different than women’s. For instance, the author spoke a bit about how some men will not always tell their significant other that they like or love them. They said it initially, so that remains to be true until they tell you otherwise. But as an anxious woman, this is something that I fear to no longer be true often in relationships and to bring in a point that is made throughout the book – communication is key. As is learning how your partner communicates and what some of their “tells” are. The author noted that his wife always knows when he lies because of how he acts when he does it – so he’s simply stopped lying to her because she figures out the truth immediately anyway – so why bother? But if he needed to lie to someone else who didn’t know him as well, he could probably get away with it. He also noted that he could tell when his wife seemed to be down and over time was able to figure out what sort of things she might like for him to do or say to her to make her feel better. He’s always attracted to her and has been since they met, but doesn’t always express that to her and some days she just might like to hear it from him. I also think that the book focusing on expectations is really important too. I’m not in a relationship but have spent a lot of time on dating apps and I often will ask the guys I match with what they are looking for as a way to manage my expectations. If they’re not looking for a serious relationship I should expect them to act differently than someone who is – and then I don’t end up disappointed when further on down the line after I’ve become more attached this comes out. I also really liked the author touching on various toxic traits – of course drugs and alcohol came up as well as cheating, which you would expect in a book about relationships but he also focused on a few other traits that made me stop and think – projection, uncontrolled emotions and selfishness and time.
I give this book 4.5 stars. While this book is, in theory, geared at men – I think it’s really helpful for everyone to take the time and stop and think about themselves, especially if they are in a relationship or are trying to be the best they can be to enter a relationship.
About the Book
Intimate relationships are one of the most powerful forms of companionship that a person can have. Unfortunately, they are often hard to navigate and can become stale and dull. A Guy’s Guide to Relationships is one guy’s perspective on how to improve your relationship through language and action. This book teaches you the “Five As” of positive language where you will discover how to speak to your partner in a way that not only uplifts them, but improves the relationship as a whole. It also teaches the reader specific actions to support positive language that offers critical insight into not only talking the talk, but walking the walk. Finally, this book will challenge people to address toxic traits that may be corrupting them and their relationship before closing with steps to personal growth. A Guy’s Guide to Relationships is an exciting book for anyone looking to improve their relationship!