Book Review: Sex Talks
Katie 
Talking about Sex, even with sexual partners, seems to be a bit taboo. I have had guys surprised I want to discuss things before we dive in, but I have found that discussing things beforehand and both of you being able to manage expectations of what is going to happen and what is and isn’t on the table makes for a much more enjoyable time. The book definitely touched on that so it seems like I am on the right track in wanting to talk things through but even takes it to the next level with a lot of quizzes about different things to find out where you and your partner may differ on things like what turns you on and how you feel about how sex is initiated in the relationship. The author even has her partner talk about his side of things as well and how things aren’t always wild and kinky in their sex life and how they have had to work through their own issues in the bedroom as well. Definitely a must read for anyone in a sexual relationship.
I received a free e-copy of this book in order to write this review, I was not otherwise compensated.
About the Book
The definitive guide to creating the sex life of your wildest dreams—just by talking about it!—from sexpert couple Vanessa and Xander Marin.
There are plenty of books about sex. But this is one of the only books that shows you how to actually talk about it. Because how are you supposed to have an extraordinary sex life if you can’t even discuss it openly with your partner? Sex Talks is here to change that. Together, sex therapist Vanessa Marin and her husband, Xander, show you that the best thing you can do for your sex life doesn’t even involve taking off your clothes.
Sex Talks covers the five essential conversations every couple needs to have:
1. Acknowledgement: a.k.a. “Sex is a thing, and we have it.”
2. Connection: a.k.a. “What do we need to feel connected to each other?”
3. Desire: a.k.a. “What do we each need to get turned on?”
4. Pleasure: a.k.a. “What do we each need to feel good?”
5. Exploration: a.k.a. “What should we try next?”
With gripping storytelling and an intimate peek at what really goes on behind other couples’ closed bedroom doors, Vanessa and Xander share their successful advice that has already helped hundreds of thousands. Sex Talks provides you with the sex education you wish you’d had, plus the tried-and-tested tools you need to create the sex life of your wildest dreams.
Some of my favorite books to read are from the Little People, Big Dreams series that quickly tells you the biography of someone famous in a way that kids will understand. The most recent one I just read was about Freddie Mercury, lead singer of Queen. It told about his life growing up, how he had more teeth than the average person but he thought that made him sing better (ie your differences may be what helps make you successful!) and how he was famous with Queen and stopped touring once he found out he had AIDS. At the end of the book there is a timeline of his life with real photos and I just think these little books are so great to help little kids learn more about some famous figures!
Nerd Crush was a really adorable book and a quick read. The book is about Ramona who is very shy but also nerdy and artsy. Her best friend moved away and while they still talk with each other, she’s feeling a little bit lonely. Her parents don’t understand her art or her love for cosplay. She decides to write her school crush a note – as her cosplay alter ego – and see what happens. She is pretty surprised when he emails her back and they pretty regularly chat with each other. The two IRL end up working together and getting pretty close as well – but she doesn’t know how to tell him that she is Rel AND Ramona and that everything she’s told him as Rel is true for Ramona, as well.
Destiny Finds Her Way is about a sloth in the tropical rainforest of Costa Rica. The sloth had fallen out of the tree and was rescued and brought to an animal rescue center where they fixed her up and tended to all of her needs. Due to how weak she was, they weren’t sure if they’d be able to return her to the wild or not. Destiny had an eye that was sick and she didn’t get her sight back. But the scientists helped prepare her for the wild anyway. But once they took her to the wild, she looked around with her good eye and took back off into her home!
Almost Perfect was a book that I judged by its cover – a lanyard and a wristband caught my attention. The book starts out at a QueerCon devoted to television shows with queer characters. I was hooked early on when one of the characters said “I’m just so pleased the studio hired an actor with cerebral palsy to play the character. It infuriates me when able-bodied actors are hired to play disabled characters. Don’t you agree?” This character and the disabled character were only bit parts as the queer characters were more of the main characters – but representation matters and as a straight girl with CP – that is what caught my attention.
I love to read about Ada Lovelace, who was one of the first computer programmers (yet it’s been predominately a male dominated career since! hmph!) so I was pretty excited to stumble upon Ada Lovelace Cracks the Code from Rebel Girls. The Rebel Girls book series is probably exactly what I needed growing up – a series of books about extraordinary women in history – all written and illustrated by females. In this book, Ada realizes that her father was special and figures that if he was extraordinary, well then she must be too! She seems to be a rambunctious and curious young girl. She gets a new governess, Miss Stamp, who seems to be up to the challenge of teaching young Ada. As she grows older, she knows she will have to marry but is concerned about finding a husband that will understand her. She ends up working with Charles Babbage (another well known name in the programming world) and insisted her name be left absent on the work they did together because men would never take a scientific article seriously if a woman’s name was on the cover (how little has changed!)
While “No.” is a complete sentence, many people have trouble saying no. (I am certainly one of them) 100 Ways to Say No teaches you techniques and ways to stop saying Yes when you mean No. It also had little illustrations to make it a lot more fun to read. I like how it gave you a bit more to say than no – especially in situations where you were forced to say No due to financial issues or other issues you don’t really have control over. If your friends invited you to a destination wedding you couldn’t afford – tell them that you can’t make it – BUT offer to celebrate them in some other way after so you’re not feeling totally left out. There was a lot of really great information in this book and I will definitely be carrying it with me through the new year to try and make sure I don’t end up with too much on my plate because I just don’t know how to let anyone down!
If you’re looking to start up a hobby in rock art, which has gained popularity a lot in recent years, look no further than Rock Art for Beginners which will show you simple techniques and easy projects for transforming stones into art. My biggest question when picking up the book was how do you know what rocks to look for so I was pleased to see there was an entire chapter on selecting and prepping rocks. The designs are split up by Mandalas (these are some of my favorites!), Patterns, Animals and Nature. Definitely a few I’d like to try making in the mix here! Far more goes into this beyond just grabbing a rock and painting, and no wonder why these all look so amazing! The patterns are all so colorful and vibrant.
21-Hit Wonder is by Sam Hollander, a song writer. I wasn’t sure if I was actually familiar with any of his stuff, but I always find these sorts of stories fun and fascinating. And any book that essentially kicks off with the author being baby sat by Andy Warhol is for sure going to end up being a roller coaster and that it was. There were definitely artists and songs throughout that I was familiar with – there’s a whole nice chapter with some behind the scenes info about Michael Tolcher and how he had such a marketable story (or three) about his life but he just didn’t feel like that’s the approach he wanted to take and end up not sticking with his label… Sam was also involved in writing with Rich Cronin and had to do with the creation of the show that Rich ended up being on to create a Man Band (with Chris from NSYNC and Jeff from 98 degrees as well). There was a whole chapter on his attempts to write songs for the American Idol winners and even some Lou Pearlman thrown in for good measure – what’s not to love?