September 2
Have a box of grape-nuts, a wrench and a pair of fuzzy dice
or
A jar of Vaseline, a fake moustache and a photo of Hillary Clinton?
Grape Nuts , wrench and fuzzy dice. Is there a reason for these items?
September 3
Marry the spouse of your dreams, but gain 10 pounds a year
or
have your spouse gain 10 pounds a year?
Spouse of my dreams.
September 4/5
Have a neck as long as your torso
or
A torso as short as your neck?
Neck as long as my torso, then I would be a little bit taller.
September 6
Date someone with a razor-sharp wit
or
A vibrating tongue
Wit.
September 7
Only be able to pick up guys/girls via middle school style notes folded with hearts
or
by window side serenades of hits from the early 80s?
Middle school style notes
September 8
Marry someone whose desired personal space was 2 inches
or
30 feet?
2 inches.