August 12
Be tossed head first out the window 40 floors up
Or
Be placed in a pit that is slowly filling with wet cement?
This calendar is all about me getting dropped on my head it seems. I am going to go with cement.
August 13
Spontaneously combust
Or
Spontaneously turn in to Elizabeth Taylor?
Liz Taylor!
August 14/15
Be stuck on a desert island with equivocal lumberjacks
Or
Taciturn botanists?
Lumberjacks.
August 16
Have just eaten rice, only to find out the grains of rice were maggots
Or
Be sucking on a endless succulent strand of spaghetti, only to find out it’s a recently extracted tapeworm?
Shouldn’t it be “an endless succulent strand of spaghetti”? But I’ll go with the maggots.
August 17
Roll down a hill in a barrel full of thumb tacks
Or
Have a live scorpion inserted into your intestines?
Tacks!
August 18
Stick your tongue in an electric pencil sharpener
or
have an ant crawl up your urethra and lay hundreds of eggs?
Can your tongue even fit into the sharpener hole? Probably not.. so I’ll go with that!